Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Talk Tuesday-Knowing You Jesus; My Suffering Pt. II

There are two things that I'd like to share before beginning. In the last post, I stated that someone accused me of asking God for the illness, then asking Him for the cure. This was borne out of a misunderstanding of words on my part. Secondly, when I was first diagnosed, a very good friend of mine said, "This trial is not only for you but for those around you as well." While I didn't understand what that meant back then, today it is becoming abundantly clear. This is about Jesus Christ, not Natasha and Andrew. This is about His ability to restore, heal, uplift, strengthen, empower and love. This is the testimony about Jesus Christ, our Saviour and Redeemer.

In January 2008 I went to see a surgeon who advised me I had spinal tumours. While it had upset me greatly, I began to block it out. It wasn't cancer, so who cared? I was busy with my job (having recently been promoted), and really didn't have time for all of 'that'. I even went on a trip to Trinidad a few weeks later. One day, in a grocery store in Trinidad, my left leg buckled. I shrugged it off, acting as though I just stumbled. Then, upon my return to Canada, on my way home from work, I stumbled downtown in the snow. That got my attention. I started to notice a weakening in my left leg and intense pain. When I finally fell a third time, outside the GO Station in Ajax, I figured out it was time for action. You see, we had been putting off calling the surgeon, hoping that GOD would intervene miraculously. We prayed and prayed, then I made the call. The surgery was scheduled for a date in June 2008.

GOD has a plan:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

As the surgery date rolled around, I was nervous yet at peace. My family and extended family were there in great support, to pray as we went through this. I prayed and sought the LORD- I prayed for Jesus to be with me in the surgery. I prayed for the surgeons, nurses and medical staff. I prayed a blessing for them in the name of Jesus, and off I went.

Then there were complications. What was supposed to a 4 1/2 hr operation ended up being 8 1/2hrs. Another surgeon was called in to assist, who thanks be to GOD, just happened to be right next door. However, while this was going on unbeknownst to me, I was in bliss!

Let me explain. I had a vision of seeing Jesus, the Lamb of God. I saw such a radiant light that my entire being experienced a joy that surpassed anything I had ever imagined. I felt joy bubbling up like a wellspring inside. My husband saw me as I was wheeled into the recovery room, and he said my face was glowing. I remember feeling joy and saying over and over again, "I saw Jesus, I saw Jesus!" I couldn't open my eyes, but I could hear people around me. I told one nurse in particular, "Jesus loves YOU." I never saw her, but heard her.

What I didn't know is that she had been asking GOD, that very day, if she was loved by Him. She shared this story with my sister 7 months later, when I returned for the second round. It was a word from GOD she needed to hear at the appointed time.

Brothers and sisters, TRUST GOD in the trial. He has a plan for your lives. Cling to Him in your brokenness and watch Him redeem your mourning for dancing, your suffering for the surpassing joy of knowing Him even more. Till next week, I leave you with this:

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.'" Jeremiah 29:11-13


Blessed said...

Thank you for this inspiring testimony, Tash. I personally believe that God sends us trials to prompt us to draw closer to Him. He walks with us every step of the way us, for He does indeed know the plans He has for us. Cotinued blessings to you and yours.

Anonymous said...

I love that you are sharing your testimony with us. I can't imagine the pain - don't even want to...

But it serves us all... God indeed does walk with us. More than that, I know He upholds us with His righteous right hand; and that He helps those who leave their faith in Him.

Natasha said...

Thank you Blessed and Anonymous. The truth is, I am an intensely private person so this is really a challenge for me. More of Him, less of me...that way He can get all the glory!

Beloved said...

Yes, thank you Tash for sharing ... I am finally visiting after a bit of a break. Is is encouraging to read how Jesus was there for you, literally there, in your time of greatest need, just as He has promised us in His word.

In our time, we need to be reminded regularly that living for Jesus is indeed a life of blessing under the abundant new covenant, but it is also a life in which we WILL be tried by many experiences, large and small, with the express purpose of making us MORE LIKE JESUS. Though blessings pour out, it is not His DUTY to just make us comfortable and grant us everything we desire ... we have to remember, we must be LESS, that HE might be GREATER!

Thank you for your transparency ... I am looking forward to Talk Tuesday next week. Us younger believers in the Lord are often scared of suffering ... it helps to know that people are coming out on the other side STRONGER in the Lord and not BITTER!!

There are so many people that stay in the Lord and around the things of the Lord, but it is an outward commitment ... the heart strays and gets cold, and the result of that manifests in unfortunate ways. May we be people who ALWAYS remind others of Jesus, no matter what...and this can only happen if we let Him heal our hurts and help us in our struggles ... and most of all, TRUST His sovereign, wise hand in our lives.

RubyintheWest said...

Thanks for sharing Natasha. It gave me chills reading this. Don't be shy telling your story. Others WILL see God in this. They will see the God of restoration, mercy, favor, miracles, healing...I can go on and on. God bless you.