Talk Tuesday - "Knowing You, Jesus; My Suffering (Pt.I)"

Last week I was accused of asking God for the 'illness' that I was afflicted with, then asking Him for the 'cure'. It seemed somewhat implied to me that it was all my fault and that I had used my body as a tool of manipulation to 'prove' God's faithfulness. While I was stunned and very hurt by such an accusation, I could only imagine how this might look to one who does not know JESUS. Let me explain...

Many years ago, as a young, enthusiastic and naive Christian, I prayed this prayer: "Lord, I want to know You in your suffering." This was after hearing the song, Knowing You Jesus, by Graham Kendrick. I would like to share the words of the lyrics that so impressed my young heart:

All I once held dear, built my life upon,
All this world reveres and wars to own;
All I once thought gain I have counted loss,
Spent and worthless now compared to this.


Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best,
You're my joy, my righteousness,
And I love You Lord.


Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
To be found in You and known as Yours,
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness


Oh to know the power of Your risen life,
And to know You in Your sufferings;
To become like You in Your death, my Lord,
So with You to live and never die.


This 'suffering' that I desired to share with Christ in, came immediately afterwards and in multiple forms. First I learned what it was like to be unjustly accused because of my faith. I learned what it was like to TRULY TRUST GOD, to walk by faith, when 'reality' spoke devastation and heartache. I learned what it felt like to be ostracized for faith in Christ, yet I never knew what it was like to suffer in my body. I confess, in my burst of youthful enthusiasm, I had prayed this prayer but forgot about it until my younger brother reminded me of it. This was right after I was diagnosed with spinal tumors.

Not cancer, so no big deal, right? Then I began to lose my ability to walk, my left leg began to slowly deteriorate and I could no longer lift it. The risk of permanent nerve damage lurked and the pain was excruciating...or so I thought yet the lesson was only just beginning. It was not until I was hospitalized the second time for an emergency second surgery, that I experienced deep suffering in my flesh. I want to share with you what I have learned about KNOWING JESUS in suffering, but it will take a few weeks, so please bear with me. Let me leave this tidbit with you as a prelude to next week's Talk Tuesday;

"But those who suffer He delivers in their suffering; He speaks to them in their affliction." Job 36:15


I only ask that before we begin this journey, you click on the Movie Monday link and listen to the song, Knowing You Jesus.

Thanks for listening,
Natasha