Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Talk Tuesday – Wives submit to your husbands


Do you believe everything in the bible? Are we supposed to do everything the bible says? How about this verse Ephesians 5:22:


“Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”


What does the modern woman think about this verse? We would like to hear what you think. If you are single, are you worried about how your husband will treat you? If you are married, how has this verse played out in your marriage?


Before you flood our inbox with emails remember the bible also says,


“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25


Husbands should be willing to sacrifice everything for his wife, as Christ did for us. No wife should worry about submitting to a husband like that.


Ladies and Gents tell us what you think by clicking on the comments link below.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a single person I cannot say that I am worried about how my husband will treat me. I believe that God will choose the man he has created for me and I for him- to walk in the divine purpose he has for us. That is not to say that life will be a walk in the park, but I do believe that it is easier to submit to a man that is under the authority of Christ. I think that it is first important to have an intimate relationship with Christ because it is here that you first learn submission and bowing to your own will. I think that once this has happened it will be easier to see the needs of your spouse and respect and submit to them because you have that relationship already established with the Lover of your Soul.

Anonymous said...

Before Christ, I would have had some real trepidation about that would: 'submission' (especially as I was a self-proclaimed feminist). I now believe as a Christian, that the truth is in the definition. I once heard it described this way: 'submission' is voluntary and should not be confused w/ 'subjugation' which is demeaning...

As a new wife, I do believe that I should submit to my husband, to his leadership and his care of his family. A friend at church said that a marriage can only survive if you put each other before yourself, and love God more than you love your spouse. I think this is true, because if you’re always looking to have your own needs met / validated, then you can come to an impasse. I see the husband as the leader, but the wife is the back-bone who holds the marriage and family together.

I do admit though that my husband and I haven’t had that major disagreement yet ;) and we haven’t needed to use my husband's decision as OUR final decision. I’m not sure how difficult that’s going to be when the time comes! But I imagine it will require a good swallow of my own pride. But we do that all the time as Christians don’t we?

I should mention though that in our own wedding ceremony we opted not to have this particular reading as we were concerned that our friends and family who were not born again, may not understand the intent: the ‘heart’ of it, vs. society’s direction for women to be strong & independent.

former feminist

Anonymous said...

I see that anonymous commentor #2 is a little confused: "I once heard it described this way: 'submission' is voluntary and should not be confused w/ 'subjugation' which is demeaning"
You women have been ordered by God to submit to your husbands. Doesn't sound like there's a lot of room for voluntary choice. according to the dictionary definition of subjugation, it's interchangable with submission

This is one of my favorite parts of the bible. Hopefully we humans are on a journey toward a more intelligent and enlightened state of being. One of the greatest hinderances to our eventual enlightenment is religion. The more hatred, intolerance, and illogic we can find the faster we can get rid of these primitive belief systems and start fullfilling our true potential.

Anonymous said...

As a single person, I have learned that the way I act now with men in my life, especially if they are authority figures (bosses, pastors, leaders), is an indication of how I might interact with and submit to my future husband. So I think in either state, single or married, the Holy Spirit can work in us to teach us what these verses in Ephesians mean.

Submitting to authority is so much easier when the person is sensitive to the Holy Spirit and lives a life that honours Christ. So I pray that this is the kind of man that I will eventually have.

Natasha said...

As with all biblical instruction, God gives us the choice of free will. He provides instruction for those who want to follow Him. The use of the word 'ordered' is an interpretation of the instruction He has provided to us. Obedience is an act of worship, but obedience also brings blessings (see Deuteronomy 11:26-29).

Submission to your husband is an offering to the Lord. If your husband is in Christ Jesus, then His heart will be molded and led by the Lord. As a daughter, I have seen this modeled in my parents' lives. It was a blessing. I am married to a Christian man, Andrew, and it is a blessing in my life. Be encouraged brothers and sisters in the Lord, He is faithful.

Anonymous said...

We have a misguided understanding of the word "submission". We equate it with "abuse" in this context or submitting against our will. However, submission is one side of the equation here; the other side equals love and self-sacrifice by husbands who are walking in the footsteps of God. So, women need to submit to their husbands who love them just as the church has to be under the submission of God.

Andrew said...

When we first got married it was quite interesting how Ephesians 5:22 played out in our marriage. I am a very reserved person and my wife, Natasha, has a more outgoing personality. The first time I saw her submit to my leading I thought,"wow I can get used to this." We joked about this but she said that her mother always says,"I always listen to your father because the Lord speaks through him." God has set the husband as the head of the home, not to rule over the wife but to be like Christ to his wife. Before Jesus died for our sins He served his disciples by washing their feet. "After washing their feet, he [Jesus] put on his robe and sat down and asked, "Do you understand what I was doing? You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord', and you are right, because that's what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other's feet. I have give you an example to follow. " John 13:12-15 Jesus truly has given us an example to follow. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25

Anonymous said...

No, not confused at all.

I know what is ordered by God. But what I meant was that I serve & submit in love. When I submit to my husband it IS voluntary. Yes, God wants it so, but so do I.

Anonymous said...

One interesting point I would like to make that has had an impact on me is something one of my old Pastor's, Ian Campbell once taught: He reminded us that our bibles start this section at verse 22, with the subject heading "Wives and Husbands", however, verse 21 has already started the topic, ie."Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." This is extremely important and I am a male believer, married. What if our bibles had of been nicely started the paragraph at that point? As men, we often forget this important intro. God does have an order for mankind,the home,family etc don't get me wrong, but it's not the negative military understanding that the world has on this subject of submission (by the woman). Finally, I'll close with this quote by our Master on the topic of 'position and rank'taken from Matthew 20: 25-26 "Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave-."

Natasha said...

That is so interesting. I was just reading my bible and the following verse stood out to me, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ" Ephesians 5:21. Then I read Anonymous-Married Male Believer's comment and thought, wow, yes...our submission as believers, both male and female, is in reverance to our Saviour. In John 14:15-17 Jesus says, "If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever-the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept Him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you know Him, for He lives with you and will be in you."

Dawn said...

In a recent conversation the topic of submission came up, and I was reminded of something that I'd read somewhere that spoke to me so clearly that I had to jot it down. I was reminded of it again when I read this thread of conversation. Although it may not speak directly to this thread, I'll share it with the group anyways because it seems to relate to it in a 'round about way. I read somewhere that in the early Hebrew language the words used to mean commit and surrender very similar, in fact they are almost used interchangably. When I think of marriage, one of the first words that comes to mind is commitment, so comparing that to the idea of surrendering seems appropriate. I have yet to meet the person God has in mind for me, but I have no doubt that if it is in His will for me to find someone that it will happen in His perfect and righteous timing, if in fact that is His will for me. I continue to keep my mind open and anxiously await what His plan and will for me is, particularly since I believe that He has only the best planned for my future.

Anonymous said...

in reading these posts, I notice that none of you are much concerned with risk management. The theme seems to be that as a woman, if you give up your autonomy to your husband he'll make the decisions for you and all will be rosy and good. It has been known to happen however, that people change over time. Sometimes radically. Hypothetically, let's say your caring, Christian husband goes from nice guy to drugged out wife beating pimp. When he finishes your nightly beating then orders you to hit the street and turn tricks for pocket change, are you not obligated to do so? I don't recall seeing an escape clause in the bible for this particular situation. And, if you think it can't happen, you haven't been watching Dr. Phil.