We would like to introduce you to our Guest Writer, Minister V.
MINISTER V, known to most as simply Vanessa, is a mother, sister and friend. Passionate and not afraid to speak the truth, this young woman of God, now twenty five and having come a long way, has much to share about her life and relationship with Jesus Christ. Currently enrolled at The Montreal School of Ministry, in the Ministerial Internship Program, this young lady is eager to serve the Kingdom of God and relay the gospel message of Christ. You can find Vanessa on Sunday mornings at The Resurrection Center Church of God, in Montreal, Canada where she resides, this is her first article.
-------------------------------------------------
Breaking up is hard to do.
When you have sexual intercourse with someone you become one flesh, "and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh," (Mark 10:8) so, you are considered taken by that person, taken as in married! That means spiritually you are in a counterfeit marriage! No walk down the aisle or pretty white dress; in the spirit realm, this is it! When you break up, it literally tears apart the two people and it is physically painful because your emotions and your body are involved. Ever wonder why you hurt so badly after breaking up? You’re going through a spiritual divorce! That is why the bible talks about joining one man to one wife, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh, (Gen 2:24). God intended us to be with one person, someone with whom we are equally yoked, sharing the same values with and can anticipate a firm foundation on the solid Rock that is Christ. When you’re married, there is no tearing apart flesh as marriage is for life. It is in times of trouble that the same foundation will keep you from breaking up.
One of the reasons I believe we have sex before marriage is because we do not understand the extent of the damage that it causes spiritually. Everyone you sleep with becomes a part of you, and creating an unhealthy cycle we carry what our sexual partners have given us and attach whatever we have received to the next person. With each sexual partner we become connected and when we disconnect, we are left damaged. It is not God’s will that we present ourselves to our future husband or wife, emotionally disfigured. The Word cautions us, Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life (Prov.4:23) because we make decisions about love and sex with our hearts. The purpose of marriage is divine because God understands the need to be with someone, And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him,” (Gen 2:18). The point of abstaining from sex before marriage is not to deprive one of sexual desires, but rather to ensure that when you’re ready for marriage you enter into your marriage spiritually and physically healthy.
Don’t forget that God created us in His image (Gen 1:27) and He fashioned each one of us in the womb (Jeremiah 1:5), created for His specific purpose. He knows what is best, it is us who take it upon ourselves to do as we please and lead our lives in the way we see fit. The bible says, Commit your ways to the LORD, And your thoughts will be established-A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps, (Prov. 16:3, 9) so as we pursue future relationships we need to remain mindful of His Word and His calling; our aim should be to allow God to work in us to become the whole individuals that He has intended us to be and remain pure. While we are dating or courting, that means understanding that sex before marriage is fornication and fornication is sin. Sin brings with it complications and is to be avoided at ALL COSTS, for the wages of sin is death.
In short, breaking up is hard to do and it can become nasty. That is why we must take our time, use wisdom about who we date and understand that we are not to be involved sexually before we take the marriage vow. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him (James 1:5).
I don't know about you, but I've suffered enough damage in my life, so let us continue to press on towards the high calling of Christ Jesus and be encouraged!
Always keepin' it real-your sister in Christ,
MINISTER V
12 comments:
Thank you Minister V. for sharing your thoughts in this article that is full of wisdom, with the timeless and reliable Word of God to back everything up.
As a single 35-year-old desiring marriage, to add to what you've said, I would encourage others to remember that fantasies can also be just as destructive. In fact, fornication or adultery never "just happens," it begins with an undisciplined mind and an unguarded heart.
As we press on to high calling together, let's remember Jesus' words, that even to entertain lustful or impure thoughts about another person is tantamount to adultery (Matthew 5:27-28). As time passes and some of us find that a life partner is not becoming manifest in our lives as soon as we had hoped, it can be easy to rationalize unguarded thoughts, thinking that it is better than committing the act. Or for those who are dating, they may avoid physical contact but still entertain detailed thoughts about what being with the other person might be like. But in the Lord's eyes, it is still grievous to the Holy Spirit.
So without allowing ourselves to feel condemnation about this, and knowing that God understands our desire, let's put aside every thought that leads toward impurity, being vigilant about what we allow into our lives through various media, and trusting God to keep us as only He can. However the Lord decides to order our steps, whether towards a partner that we wait patiently for, or whether He keeps us to Himself for single-minded focus and service to Him, our purity and obedience will be well worth the effort!
Blessings to you all.
Wow! Thank you Minister V for your insightful article! Thank you Beloved for your additional wisdom. This is truth that needs to be told, retold and repeated. God bless you all so very much as we press on to the high calling in Christ Jesus! Amen and Amen!!!
Sisterrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so extremely proud of you. What a wonderful, captivating and honest article. I am so blessed to be able to witness the AMAZING things the Lord is doing through you. Keep up the PHENOMENAL work. I believe in you Sis. Always and forever <3
~Jody
Well said Vanessa!
More books on the topic include:
***When God writes your Love Story***
Eric and Leslie Ludy
(Phenomenal Book on Waiting on God for A Spouse)
And the Bride Wore White (Purity)
Dating With Pure Passion
Great article ! My only addition is that , There is a harsh reality in our " christian " society -
Just focusing on the word and giving our selves over to God , is not always - enough, to STOP us from premarital sex-
I would love to speak to those who have gone down that road .....
Know that "there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in christ Jesus "
We will fall , we will surcome to the flesh BUT !!! We Must!! get back up again
Many have sinned and all have come short !
God looks at the condition of your heart and your desire to be drawn closer to him , inspite of your inadequacies.
May we all find peace in knowing we serve a loving and a forgiving God
He wants us to turn from our wicked ways , But he , loves us as a Father loves his Children
Lastly - let us not forget that there are a multitude of sins
Lieing, cheating ,stealing , envy, jealousy etc.. etc...
The church , Like the word seems to have a preocupation with sex,
Sex and love and Marriage is a Beautiful thing - Let's rediscover Godly , healthy, loving and celebrated sexual relationships
Blessings
The interesting thing about this article is that is does not address the aspect of forgiveness once or if you've actually partook in premarital sex. Because of course there is forgiveness for all sins, and now therefore no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, those who have had premarital sex can restassured!!! However, I really believe the point of the article is to address the issue of what premarital sex does to the person. The issue is not that all have come short of the glory, because that is true, and when we do fall, we must get back up, but to be conginizant of the reprecussions and better guard ourselves from premarital sex and remaining pure until marriage. No? As far as what the second Anonymous said about rediscovering "Godly , healthy, loving and celebrated sexual relationships" that is within the confines of marriage right? I hope so. You wanna speak to those who have gone down that road? I have been! And it does not mean it's ok for me to do whatever I please just because He is a loving God and will forgive me. That is not how it works. The great thing about Jesus is that He does not care where we've been, He's only concerned with where we're going, and so we can be washed clean of our sins and move forward, of course being that I have already had relationships that included premarital sex it makes it hard to abstain, but ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD, and there is no tempatation that He cannot make a way out for...
God is Love!
Wow! this was a very insightful read. as i look over my own life I understand why God said curtin things. He only wants whats best for his children and he is never trying to keep us from but rather prepare us for and thats why I love jesus so much. thanks V. Sherina Xoxo
My first time to post here. I do visit regularly and read Tash and Drew's bible group online but, didn't have the guts to post and share my thoughts. This is a very interesting topic that I don't want to let it passed by. As a single woman, it is nice to be reminded once again about this kind of issues which we face in our daily lives. There are days that we face temptation after temptations and believe me it's not that easy and you just have to learn how to ignore and do not let yourself soak into it or even to accommodate oneself to circumstances. Beloved has an impressive opinion which i can and will apply it in my life. Thank you Minister V., to all posters and Thank you Tash and Drew.
I waited for my wife and my wife waited for me. I can tell you it is the most beautiful thing you could do for your spouse. There is a blessing for following God's plan for your life. God did not make us to have sex before marriage. I know in this day and age it is hard to tell young people to abstain from sex before marriage but it is the best way. When you have sex with other people you build soul ties with them and they have an effect on your relationship. If you wait on the one God has for you God will not disappoint you. He knows best.
Very inspiring read Vanessa- Love your insight
Be Blessed
Before I begin, I really have to reserve all the glory for God, for EVERYTHING! If it wasn't for His plans, this article would not have been published, let alone written...Honestly, I am blessed at how God works everything out for the good of His people and so I love Him and proclaim His Lordship, Jesus is King of Kings and Lord of Lords! PRAISE HIM! I also want to say it is truly encouraging to read all of these wonderful comments. I want to thank Natasha and Andrew,and all of you for having read the article, and for leaving your thoughts, comments and blessings. To my family, friends and co-workers who check out the article, I LOVE YOU! Thanks for the support...I can appreciate what each of you said and I have to admit that your responses were very heart warming. As a vessel ready to be used by God, I want to remain available for His leading and speak the Truth, based on the Word of God, at all times, even when it may not be easy. His Word says, my people perish for lack of knowledge so we need to start speaking the truth, (in love), because the people need to know the TRUTH. So once again, thanks for the support, please look out for other articles and return to BIBLEGROUPONLINE.COM every week for Talk Tuesday and for other resources as well...May God bless everyone of you richly and let us all walk in the freedom that is Christ!!!!
Always keepin' it real,
Minister V
Wow... You are right on point. I'm suffering from my previous relationship (gone very sour,) that involved premarital sex. Even though I ended the relationship I still feel torn apart inside. If only I had been wise and obeyed God in the first place. I'm trying to focus on Christ and allow Him to guide my steps. I will from now on ask Him fervently to help me guard my heart and mind from sexual sin. Thank you for sharing your insight!
Post a Comment